Dem abs, tho

My blog should just be called Biceps and Bottoms…

Abercrombie is quickly ascending to my favorite chew toy. Such a good, good boy. He came over at the drop of a hat the other night so I could ride him and get mine, then I played with his butt- however he was still too sore after taking my 8 inches just days previously. Too bad, so sad. Later he met up with me and a lady friend I’ll call Eris for some hot tub fun, which segued into a threesome…. which was more like a twosome. So I dipped out and let them finish their business. No bad feelings, when I’m bored I just bounce. Toodles, other faces to sit on, not enough time to get mad about it! He didn’t get her off anyway… that kind of tickles me to no end. Yeah, women are complicated aren’t they?  Anyway, tonight I wanted him to come over and meet QuarterRican, who has decided to “apprentice” under me and learn the ways of spelunking inside men. There’s no denying the urge to be in charge when you get that first taste of control, which she did the other night with that Airman I worked on for about an hour as she and I hung out. Abercrombie has seen pics of QuarterRican and is all about that kind of life- she’s gorgeous. Busty, Hispanic, athletic, down for weirdness. So, come over and meet your mistresses.

Once he showers, shaves, and makes himself presentable he arrives to us watching Die Antwoord music videos and drinking vodka pink lemonades. Yes, he would like one as well. Things get tipsy, I’m distracted by my phone (ever had that thing where you think about someone one day, and the next day they text you… two of those happened today. Kind of exciting!) I instruct him to take his shirt off, and then his pants. Socks too, what- were you raised in a barn? Just the briefs, pet. He sits between us and we get cozy. Something something, shaving assholes comes up. QuarterRican and I are skilled at shaving our O-rings, Abercrombie isn’t sure how one goes about doing that. I offer to shave him, he agrees. I meant right now. I get up, take his hand, and lead him to the rape cave, I mean my bedroom. I put him on a towel on my bed, and wet his hairy parts with warm water and hair conditioner. Pro tip, shave with conditioner. It softens the skin and lubricates the razor. You’re welcome. I shave his asshole, taint, and around the balls a bit. He’s all cleaned up. Since he’s already in this position, and very eager to have me inside him, I ask if we could take this opportunity to teach QuarterRican a thing or two. He is more than happy to oblige.

I grab the tub of coconut oil by the bed (there’s one by my bed, and one in the kitchen; they’re not interchangeable at this point,) and lube up his backside. QuarterRican has actually seen me put my hand inside a man before, but that was just for giggles and less about anything else. This time she wants to learn things. So I show her how to touch and ease in, how to massage the prostate, and how to warm a guy up before moving to the next toy. Foreplay is very important. We move on to my prostate massager toy, which vibrates like a sumbitch. Gently easing it in, we take a few minutes to let the vibration work it’s magic. His writhing and facial expressions have sealed the deal with QuarterRican, you can tell in her unblinking stare this is where it’s at. Having complete control and making a man squirm. Next we move on to the 8 inches he took last time, which he has fondly named Fat Albert. I can’t make that up, that is his name for my 8 inch white dildo. Hey, hey, hey! He pulls himself open more, as I increase the pressure to push it in. Gentle. Slow. Careful. Once it’s all the way in I begin to slowly move it in and out of him. He has an anal orgasm almost instantly.

I keep working on him while his legs tighten around me, I even used my free arm to push his knee away from me. I need space! The breathing, the whimpers, the moans, the twisting and contracting- he’s having a very good time. He continues to have rolling orgasms one after another, before he finally taps out. Was it 12, or 14? He’s not sure. I tell him I can’t wait to wear a toy and fuck him properly, as my strap-on collection is now finally being re-built and the first 3 new harnesses arrive on Thursday… with several new attachments. The look on his face when I mention it is priceless. We hang out a little bit, I can’t remember if he put his underwear back on at this point or not, but QuarterRican grabs me up and starts pushing her tongue in my mouth. Oh… well, alright then. Count me in. We actually plan on having a girl date, just the two of us, Wednesday night to figure each other out before we tag in a man for a vanilla threesome; then we’ll move up to kinkier things. I have a system! She slips her fingers inside while we make-out. This is going faster than expected, up until this point she was basically a spectator but now she’s taking the lead. I like aggressive women. (Remember, I’m a switch; I appreciate both ends of the spectrum it just depends on my mood.)

We let off, I need to cool down. I’m not ready for this to turn into something. When I return I grab Abercrombie’s face and his kisses me with the kind of vigor I love so much. Oh… oh! The both of you’s are trying to seduce me! Giving me the vapors! Heel, boy. Down. Get dressed, we are done playing for now. I very easily could have satisfied myself on him as I did last time, but now is not the time. Last time he was such a good boy, that even with dwindling time before he needed to leave, I wanted to get one more orgasm before we called it quits. I got on top, he held me close, and jack-rabbit fucked me until I came so hard I pushed him out. I whispered “good boy” in his ear between catching my breath, and sent him on his way that night. This night he hung out for a bit, we had dinner together (I made salmon chowder,) and more of my friends came over. I showed my pet off to them a bit, just a teaser- show off that body, boy. They started it, Anita Twat (a locally famous drag queen I’ll have you know, look that bitch up on Facebook,) told him to flex and show his arms. I instructed him to also stand up, lift the shirt, and show them the abs. You know how I know we’re having sex tonight? I’m bigger’n you. RAWR.

It’s time for him to roll out and go back to his normal life, we decided to go drink beers out at Beluga point and dance on top of QuarterRican’s Jeep. If you haven’t listened to Luciana’s song I Like That, you haven’t tapped into my vibe. Go listen to it, that’s my jam. Anita Twat has had it as my ringtone for years. The next time you’re debating ass play, and you’re looking at it with doubt, just spit on it and call it a poon. There’s your solid life advice for the day.

God bless the motherfucking Air Force.

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DD Fnord

I left my cheating spouse September of 2015. In October of that year, I filed for divorce and set out to move on and reclaim my lost libido. I spent 8 years of my 20's faithful to two unfaithful men, I have so much time to make up for! All The Dicks is my journey having sex with whoever I want, whenever I want, however I want. The first person I spent the night with after my husband, reignited the spark and desire I thought I would need counseling to retrieve. The second person I was with sealed the deal. I wasn't broken, I just needed a tune up. This collection of encounters are the ones worth re-telling- I don't write about every sexual encounter I have, and I certainly don't bother with any that were sub-par. The screenshots are my own personal wall of shame, but also my trophies because nobody puts baby in a corner.

Categories Sex