You know that moment you realize you’re being hit on, that the lightbulb comes on that a person is sending you signals? I was not prepared for that moment. I’d seen him around a few places, he listens to the same music my friends and I do so naturally he goes to events that feature it. He danced, which is always the first thing that stands out in men for me. Even if it’s not WELL, any man that gets up the nerve to shrug off social pressure and just move his body to music in a way that makes sense to him is a HUGE turn on for me. So, we’d seen him out with his friend we’d nicknamed Chubby Tom Cruise (CTC)- not in a dickish way, the boy is adorable. They’re Air Force. They’re 21. I’m liking CTC and my gay besties get in the giggles with me that one or all of us will have him some day- we pay no mind to his nerdy and super hot friend, we’ve got our eyes on CTC. CTC also at one point in the night confessed he didn’t know we were so far apart in age group- he thought I was about 23! I’ll fucking take it. RAWR.
So the night we invite CTC and his friend back to my gay besties’ apartment after an event we are ALL predatory smiles and nods. CTC, you’re ours. I make us all Thai food and afterward we get comfy on the couch to hangout and watch Kylie Minogue videos. I’m on the edge of the couch, CTC’s friend is next to me. I’m super comfortable and not exactly putting any effort into looking cute at this point; I’m talking top pony-tail hair, smeared makeup, bra straps hanging out all over the place. Not the put-together look I’d been maintaining all evening… on LSD. I had a fun night, I danced until I smelled funny, and now I was relaxing with a couple of adorable boys and my best friends. We’re all chit chatting and laughing, then I notice CTC’s friend is discretely touching me in what appears to be an intentional way. Nothing sexual, just extending a finger out under crossed arms and softly touching my leg. I’m absolutely convinced this is a misunderstanding. No way is that guy touching me suggestively. But it persists. Now I have to see if I’m being deliberately dense about it- I place my hand on the couch and extend a finger to touch his leg the same as he’s been touching me. Out of the corner of my eye I see him turn to me and give me that look. You know that fucking look. That look that makes your lady bits tingle for a second. I put my hand on his leg. AM I SERIOUSLY GETTING THE MOVES PUT ON ME BY SOME SMOKING HOT MILITARY BOY!? We all continue chatting, and snuggle up more to get comfy for Kylie. Bestie throws blankets over everybody. You know what blankets mean.
As soon as we’re covered I reach over and grab his hand. I rub my thumb on his thumb. He puts my palm on his throbbing erection in his pants. OMG. OMG. OMG. AAAAAAAAAGH!!!!! No way. No fucking way. Is this happening? Really? Ok so I’m panicking because I haven’t had sex in literally months, and I haven’t had sex I really wanted to have in years. I had left my husband the month before, I filed divorce, and then I had to have him EVICTED from my home for squatting. And now here’s this boy of a man, who is so far out of my god damn league I can’t even fathom why he’s interested in me right now considering I hadn’t bothered to throw signals at him EVER. I felt myself blush hard when I touched it. Whatever, I’m going for it. So I start rubbing on his erection under the blanket- he touches me a little bit too but the dynamics of it don’t really work out.
Now I’m doing hookup math. We can’t go into the guest room, or really anywhere near people I have to see the next day. I know how loud I am, and I also feel it’s rude to fuck in someone else’s home. For sure we can’t go to where ever these children live, because they’ll have roommates. Also, I’m not so sure he’d actually want to be seen taking me to his bed- no insult to me, I know where I fall on the hotness meter. I’m realistic. So there’s really two choices… we leave to my house across town, or we get a hotel room. Fun fact, I also don’t fuck in hotel rooms as a rule. So that leaves my house. Or my car I guess? But I have a carseat for a baby in the backseat and that’s a bit of a mood killer for me. I’ve decided, we must drive to my house to copulate as loudly as possible and get allllllllll those bad feelings out about my husband. I ask him “You wanna get out of here?” He says sure, so we hop up and tear through the kitchen throwing our shoes on. I didn’t even zip my boots, I just wanted to get him outside and alone. The moment we got in my car I’m laughing and excited. He’s pleased with my excitement. He asks me if I want to have him fuck me all night. YES. YES I DO, AIRMAN. He put his hand up my dress while I was LITERALLY RACING TO THE GAS STATION NEAR MY PLACE to pick up condoms. We couldn’t do that- I would have killed us. I make a self-deprecating crack at myself about being the fat girl walking into a gas station at 4am with a hot dude to buy condoms- and this adorable boy actually extended me a kindness. “Don’t sell yourself short.” I mean clearly he was nailing me for my personality, amirite? Maybe it’s my giant tits. Don’t know, don’t care.
So we get to my place and he basically tackled me to my couch. Do you remember the last time someone aggressively kissed you? Because I sure as fuck didn’t, that’s how long it had been. That instant knee-weakening feeling of being desired did me in. He’s strong. Stronger than I expected. He’s short, which I’d never found myself particularly attracted to before- about 5’6″. But my need for some hot young D threw my usual preferences out the window. He’s growling into my ear how he’s going to fuck me rotten for hours. I flood my basement. This hot, little Airman is forceful in all the right ways. Dominant in the ways that I like. And none of this was really discussed previously, other than me cackling like a school girl how long it had been since I’d even really wanted to get down. I drag him to the bedroom, because I’m traditional like that. I mention to him I need to take a shower and shave because I hadn’t expected to find myself in this scenario and thus hadn’t groomed for it. I’m talking woolly mammoth legs and doll parts. He unzips my dress, tears me out of it, and throws me on the bed. What just happened. I’m like 2 of this kid. And then… magic. Off come the glasses and the shirt and it was like Clark Kent became fucking Superman. Who the fuck was this man about to bang me. So hot. So god damn hot. Where the fuck was all of this hiding!? Did he really just “She’s All That” me? PERFECT body- I had no idea how beautiful this man was without his clothing on. Those ARMS… Jesus H. Christ those ARMS! Strong, beautiful shoulders. He was just tight and dense and perfectly strong. He starts working me with his hands- did I mention he was some kind of mechanic? Yep.
Right off the bat I get a couple orgasms. We get down, he’s talking dirty to me the way I like, hitting all the spots just right. I am losing my fucking mind on this boy’s dick. He really did fuck me rotten all night long. Literally hours. Let me just say something about men of average sized penises, and who happen to have been born on the shorter end of the spectrum: they will work for it. They’ll work harder than any lover you’ve had before, to compensate for the fact they’ve been shit on their whole life for being small. They’re not small. Monster cocks and tall stature does not make for good sex by default. Give that short guy a ride some time, let him show you how great it is to step outside your norm. I’m happy he got off twice, wish I could’ve had more time with him but alas I got too sore. I took him back to my friend’s place, picked up CTC, and drove them home casually. He gave me a hug and said goodbye- and all I could think about was how to set it up to happen again because I needed to get dicked down like that as often as humanly possible while I still have a pulse. How I ended up with Clark Kent and not CTC is still kind of a mystery for me, other than he was drunk off his ass and I jumped at the opportunity- but we don’t point out the obvious here. That night completely changed how I viewed my divorce; one fantastic night with a generous and thorough lover, and I knew I could stop torturing myself over the man who never loved me like I loved him. That night was the start of All The Dicks. Exactly a week later I downloaded Tinder and immediately only right-swiped men out of my league. Mostly hot, young, hard bodied men in uniform. I’d never been a tag chaser before in my life and 30 is as good a time as any to start. I get the added bonus of being just old enough to make it kind of hot I’m into 20-23 year olds.