DD tries group sex, it is NOT the business

One of the ladies in my Facebook group gifted me a VIP ticket to the Chippendale’s show touring Alaska at the moment, because my life was a dumpster fire after leaving my unfaithful husband and forcing myself to be strong for all the women looking up to me. Color me excited. Simultaneously I’ve been chatting up this smoking hot 22-year-old on Tinder who likes to lift. Baby you can lift my big ass any day. He’s short to the point in his intentions, and doesn’t get into much description of what he’s into on Tinder or texting- he later explains why, but that’s a different day. I’m feeling it. I’m feeling him. His pic makes him look pretty stacked and tall, it’s intimidating. I hope I don’t disappoint him, but he seemed pretty into me being older and a big girl. I hype myself up all night to keep from chickening out. I will bed this boy. I will get mine, all of mine, and make him give it to me the way I want it. Hotness factor aside, I’m in this for me. I don’t owe him shit.

I go to the show with my group of ladies, and see many familiar faces. I also got to meet somebody- one of the women my husband cheated on me with a year previously. She’s super hot. Big girl all kinds of cinched into a corset with her tits up to her chin just looking FIERCE AS FUCK. I get why he was into her. I’m not upset with her about what transpired, she’s been very kind to seek me out and set the record straight that he lied to her as well. I’m jealous that she’s got the Boss Bitch look down. I want what she’s got. I get tipsy and start slowing down on the alcohol so I can drive. I’m not fucking up getting laid tonight with this army asshole. I have become man-eater. I have become the praying mantis. I exude confidence, I attract attention. It’s very interesting how quickly your whole aura will change after a couple good dickings and maybe a little booze. I apparently put off the right vibes to get a couple of girls interested in coming home with me to enjoy the man flesh. I don’t mind sharing, and they’re both hot. I’ve wanted both of them, individually, for many years and it just never came to fruition. So here’s the opportunity, and we’re all sex nuts from watching male strippers shake rock hard asscheeks on stage for dollar bills. DONE AND DONE. I tell boy toy I’m bringing a girl. He’s down. I tell him I’m bringing two girls. He’s down… and also has a friend he can bring along as well. WHAT. Is this my life right now? I’m going to bed 2 women I adore, and a hot military pole, and possibly ANOTHER hot military pole? I’ve never. I’ve never had 2 men at the same time, or group sex with men at all. Time to finish my drink and keep that courage up, because I’m getting the fear. I can’t back out, I need to push my boundaries and test my limits. I need to find out what I’m into and what I’m not into- my bucket list is a Fuck It list, and I need to start checking shit off before I’m too old and haggard to tag young tail anymore. I threw away my 20’s on two unfaithful men. I dedicated myself to monogamy and it brought me heartache. Now is my time. My 30’s are for me.

I pour the girls into the car and we head home- rocking It’s a Wonderful Night by Fatboy Slim all the way there. Have to keep the energy up, they’re wasted and I don’t want any of us to chicken out or fall asleep before the man flesh arrives to service us. We get inside and fall into bed together. The boys are taking too long, we’re starting without them. So hot. Nothing too explicit, just some heavy petting and making out. Maybe thigh biting. Calm down, that’s all you get. The boys arrive, we’re positively GIDDY with anticipation. The one I’d been talking to walks in first- he’s much shorter than I’d visualized. That’s a good sign. He’s about 5’4”, dark, and very handsome- we’ll call him Short Stuff. His friend is 19, Black, and obviously very nervous- his name is Nervous Kid. This does not bode well. Oh well, we’ve gone too far! Time to dive head first into this experience and get the most out of it. Elle and I go outside to smoke, we need to put our game face on and get our heads into what we’re about to do. She ends up telling me how she’s always felt a strong attraction to me and my personality, for all these years. Then we laugh about WHY HAVE WE NEVER GOTTEN TOGETHER BEFORE. Because really… wasted youth.

We go in and immediately hear Derby getting railed, walk into the bedroom and she’s bent over the bed with Short Stuff working her like a god damn professional. My immediate thought was “I wonder how long he can do that, that’s impressive.” Second thought was a mix of embarrassment because I’m not actually very comfortable HEARING people have sex let alone watching them or being near them during the act. Deep breath, we’re pushing boundaries tonight. Next thought was jealousy; not the ugly side of jealousy, but the “I want what she’s having” kind of jealousy. Moving on, I decide to go down on Elle. I feel like I’m doing a good job and I do my business for a while. Then I feel the tap- Short Stuff wants to fuck me while I go down. Alright… we couldn’t really get a good angle on it with Elle on the bed and my knees digging into the bed frame, but he did what he could for about 5 minutes. He needed a break so I moved on. Nervous Kid he brought with him apparently already got off with Derby, and had decided to hide in the living room away from all the sexy time. Whatever, punk ass. I’m mad at both the boys for different reasons, but I’m not going to let it hinder me. I go back to messing around with Elle, Short Stuff comes back in and plows her while we work on her. It’s hot, but I’m losing interest. I can already tell group sex is not my thing; maybe I just don’t like it with men. Then there’s a moment where Nervous Kid comes in with his cellphone, and Derby and I both have that moment of HULK SMASH DON’T YOU DARE TAKE PICS/ VIDEO YOU LITTLE SHIT and threw his phone across the house. Fuck you, go sit in the corner by yourself and think about what you’ve done. So that killed it for me. I’m not getting what I need sexually, there isn’t enough man flesh to go around, and the one we do have has an obvious preference for Derby. High five, bitch! Slay that dick. The nail in my boner-killing coffin was that instant fear of any photographic evidence surfacing and affecting the lives of us ladies. We’ve got lives. We’ve got responsibilities. We’re not shitty 20 year olds anymore- have to protect some things, you know?

I get dressed and go sit next to Nervous Kid, we chit-chat a bit. He shows me on his phone he wasn’t taking pics or videos (I have no way of actually knowing, but I’m gonna go with it and just hope for the best.) Elle comes out and sits with me, we talk some more about the old days of being ravers, then we impart some wisdom on Nervous Kid who wanted some tips to being a better lover. Yes, the old bitches will teach you things. Ask us all the questions. Short Stuff comes out for a minute, and Derby literally picked him up and carried him back tot he bedroom like a fucking Amazon demanding Snu Snu. Not gonna lie, that was probably the best part of the night- so hot. When they finish up their epic fuck-fest they re-join us losers in the living room. It’s time for the boys to leave, whether they know it or not. Out the door, kids- the women need to talk. We discussed the safe-sex issues that came up, laughed about the boy who got off so fast it must have been embarrassing for him, and then went to bed. Elle passed out on the couch like a lady with grace and style, Derby and I took the bed. Mostly we laid next to each other and opened Tinder on our phones to peruse man flesh. We both weren’t REALLY satisfied…. but did we want to act on it? There’s nothing wrong with window shopping.

Published by:

DD Fnord

I left my cheating spouse September of 2015. In October of that year, I filed for divorce and set out to move on and reclaim my lost libido. I spent 8 years of my 20's faithful to two unfaithful men, I have so much time to make up for! All The Dicks is my journey having sex with whoever I want, whenever I want, however I want. The first person I spent the night with after my husband, reignited the spark and desire I thought I would need counseling to retrieve. The second person I was with sealed the deal. I wasn't broken, I just needed a tune up. This collection of encounters are the ones worth re-telling- I don't write about every sexual encounter I have, and I certainly don't bother with any that were sub-par. The screenshots are my own personal wall of shame, but also my trophies because nobody puts baby in a corner.

Categories Sex10 Comments

10 thoughts on “DD tries group sex, it is NOT the business”

  1. Sarah – you don’t like it don’t read it. Don’t agree with it don’t live it. She’s empowering and inspiring. She is thriving after a divorce and is not only proud but confident. How much more empowering can you be than to say “I choose you.” Or “you’re not worth my time”? She places herself and her pleasure on a pedestal. Go bible thump somewhere else and don’t let your hijab sufficate you on your way out.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. wow where are your kids when all this is happening !? You give women a horrible name and bring back the feminist movement 40 years!! Women are more then just sexual items!!

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    1. If you’re going to attempt to insult someone, Sarah, at least learn proper spelling and grammar first. And you sound jealous, must have never had amazing sex before.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. “Where are your kids?”
      LMAO! She threw the oldest her keys and sent them out for more beer and condoms…..
      So she is supposed to have them 24/7 without a second of free time I guess? Stay at home waiting for prince charming to rescue her and unlock the key to her chastity belt? Who is setting us back 40 years?

      Liked by 1 person

    3. As a proud feminist, I entirely disagree with you Sarah. The author is sexually liberated and if anyone is being treated like a sex object it’s the men.
      I think someone needs to get laid…

      Liked by 1 person

    4. I believe her child isn’t involved because like a good parent She wouldn’t have her kid around all that. Please explain the 40 year set back of feminism in her exploring her sexuality? How come men can do it but women cant? See now you are setting feminism 40 years back by acting like a chauvinistic male who judges a woman by the many men she fucks but because you’re a guy it doesn’t matter how many partners you have. So how about you shut the fuck up with how stupid you just sounded, be a good parent and sit your ads down and care for YOUR child and not worry about where her’s is while she is making herself feel happy and good about herself. She knows how to be a parent and when to be a sex fiend so if you have a problem with her not cheating and enjoying multiple partners then do yourself a favor and go away cause no one asked you to read this. Now go read a book on how to not sound like an idiot and remain a prude while she enjoys her life as a single lady.

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    5. Jesus get over it uptight vagina much? She’s taking her sexuality to new heights…let her fuck around… I’m a strong bachelor educated medical professional who has open relationship and practices ethical non momagamy… she’s doing just fine… and is a credit to women for taking control and honoring her sexuality not demonizing it… loosen up and get a good fuck yourself…

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    6. You are apparently deprived of sex honey! I am sure her kids are no where around! It is people like you that I can honestly say YOUR A IDIOT!

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